The group leader of the “Beary Buddies’ weight loss support group is Paula Kilgore. She is the program director of the Weight Loss Surgery Center and a certified Bariatric nurse. Paula Kilgore has worked with patients who have had weight-loss surgery for more than five years. In my observation, Paula Kilgore plays an important key in the support group because she has had a weight loss surgery and also she is a certified Bariatric nurse. Therefore, she has a great understanding of the members and also she can give medical advices to the members. I viewed Paula Kilgore as lay leader, she provide the essential resources and assistance what the members need. For example, I observed that many members went to Ms. Kilgore for medical advices. According to an online study article, “Groups conducted by professional leaders express significantly more negative emotions than those led by lay leaders” (Golant & Lieberman, 2001). In my observation, the group had guest speakers from South Texas Health System who informed the members about new exercise tools and methods. In my observation, both system theory and learning theory are used in the “Beary Buddies’ weight loss support group. I viewed the support group as a family because every member will interact with each other by giving advices and suggestions about the workout and diet ideas. In addition, they help others by working together for the same goal; to lose weight and maintain their diet. For these reasons, I observed the group using system theory. Another theory that I observed in the group is learning theory. Every month, the members will gather to learning new methods to cope with their surgeries. Most of all the sessions, the members have the opportunity to have a guest speakers that will learn them different things regarding their surgery outcomes. Also, the members learn the different ways to cope with their body changes. Essentially — You used an apostrophe instead of an end quote in the first sentence. Your third sentence could be better worded. It's not really incorrect but saying, "patients who have had weight-loss surgery for more than five years" makes it sound like they were under the knife for more than five years. "In my observation, Paula Kilgore plays an important key in the support group because she has had a weight loss surgery and also she is a certified Bariatric nurse. " From the sentence above, I would remove the word "key" and replace it with a word such as "role. " I would also remove the "also" that comes after "and. " You might also want to consider ending the sentence with a semicolon given the sentence after it. Therefore, she has a great understanding of the members and also she can give medical advices to the members. From the sentence above, I would again remove the "also" that comes after "and. " "Advices" should not be plural. I viewed Paula Kilgore as lay leader, she provide the essential resources and assistance what the members need. This sentence consists of two independent clauses. The comma is a comma splice and should be replaced by a semicolon. The word "provide" should be past tense, so "provided" would be the correct way to say this. The "what the members need" section of the sentence doesn't quite make sense. Consider revision. For example, I observed that many members went to Ms. Kilgore for medical advices. "Advices" should be singular (advice. ) You seem to start with "in my observation" a lot. Although this is O. K. It becomes repetitive and makes the piece less interesting. Consider using a different introductory phrase for each sentence. I viewed the support group as a family because every member will interact with each other by giving advices and suggestions about the workout and diet ideas. "Will interact" is future tense. You should keep your tense constant throughout the sentence. Instead of saying "will interact" you should use the word "interacted. " "Advices" should be singular. In addition, they help others by working together for the same goal; to lose weight and maintain their diet. I believe (but am not totally sure) that your semicolon should be a colon. Another theory that I observed in the group is learning theory. Keep your tense constant. "Is" should be "was. " Every month, the members will gather to learning new methods to cope with their surgeries. "Will gather" should be replaced by "gathered. " "Learning" should be replaced by "learn. " Most of all the sessions, the members have the opportunity to have a guest speakers that will learn them different things regarding their surgery outcomes. Start this sentence over. There are tense issues, and although the meaning is somewhat understandable, it is poorly worded. Also, the members learn the different ways to cope with their body changes. Try to avoid starting a sentence with "also. " Keep this in past tense since I believe that is what you are trying to say. Start all paragraphs with indention by hitting the tab key before each one.
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